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Monday, January 14, 2013

Monday's Confession

Today's blog is all about my fears...something that I have had a difficult time facing in the past. My goal by writing about being fearful is to hopefully give me the tools and the courage to face my new fears.

You see - when I was a young girl growing up in Alabama - I was raised to be fearful - so fearful in fact that I found it hard to do anything but to take the "safe" road that ensured that I would minimize facing fears by because I wouldn't be taking chances.  Pretty hard to believe from someone who has been posting uplifting, positive and motivational blogs for over a year...right?  I grew up afraid to go out at night by myself, to go to a movie by myself or even go out to eat by myself!  Crazy - isn't it?  BUT that was the life that I was taught.  It is a miracle that I even left home to go away to college because I was so fearful.  Over time - I came to push myself to face some of fears and gradually I was able to achieve some personal growth.  I was finally able to go to a movie by myself  (whoo hoo - I didn't have to share my popcorn!), was able to go out to dinner by myself (love to have that quiet time to read a good book) and even travel to places that I have always wanted to travel to.  PROGRESS is good!

Now - let's fast forward to the Fall of 2011.  I work for a company that I love...I love my job...I love working with my co-workers but alas - change was on the horizon!  My company was downsizing and many of us knew that we would be losing our jobs...we just didn't know who yet!  For several months - I walked around on eggshells - almost paralyzed with fear of being jobless.  It was then that I decided to take control of what I could.  I started posting daily blogs that were meant to motivate, inspire and hopefully make a difference not only for me but for others that I worked with too!  I also brushed up my resume, bought some new "interviewing clothes" and began networking.  I was one of the ones that did make it through that horrific downsizing (my department was cut in half!) but now there appears to be yet another downsizing about to occur.  I am not so sure of my chances this time.  So - this is where the FEAR of my past rears it ugly head once again.

I find myself thinking about every penny I spend these days and putting off vacations that I would love to take but refuse to schedule - just in case I lose my job.  This old fear is not going to get the best of me!  I refuse to let it paralyze me and stop me from living my life!

I know that if I face my fears head-on - they will not control me!  

So this is my confession of the day.  I will do everything in my power to let not "fear" rule my life.  I will allow it to keep me on a forward path to becoming all that I can be...not let it stop me from being the person that  I am meant to be!

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